HUGE News in Yesterday’s Nintendo Direct


Where do I even begin? Yesterday’s Nintendo Direct was one of the most exciting directs we’ve had in a while. Not to say that this one was phenomenal by any means; it’s more a of a testament to the fact that the others have been snooze fests in comparison.

Nintendo often gets caught in the past and loses sight of what’s currently relevant, so it was nice to see something fresh. I’m sure the rest of the Nintendo fans haven’t forgotten about that ugly f***ing OLED either. Disgusting.

Anyways, you can watch the Nintendo Direct here…or you can read my summary below! Also, there was no Super Smash Bros. Ultimate announcement. That’s coming on October 5th.

New Stuff:

  • Monster Hunter Rise: Sunbreak; Summer 2022
    • Monster Hunter Rise gets its first expansion DLC next summer. Not much is mentioned other than a new story, new locales, new monsters, new hunting actions, and new quest ranks.
  • Mario Party Superstar; October 29th
    • We finally get to see some more gameplay in Mario Party Superstar, as well as some throwback maps! We’re getting 5 boards from the N64 Mario party including: Woody Woods, Yoshi’s Tropical Island, and Horror Land.
  • Voice of Cards: The Isle Dragon Roars; October 28th
    • Zzz…remember when I said that Nintendo Directs have been snooze fests? Be grateful that this game wasn’t the highlight of the entire direct. Voice of cards is yet another tabletop RPG game with Hearthstone built in. Equal parts anime and boring. Next.
  • Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity Expansion Pass Wave 2; October 29th
    • With a hot a** cut scene, we received an announcement that the second wave of the expansion pass for Age of Calamity is coming on October 29th. It looks to contain more playable characters and new content, so stay tuned for more on that
  • Chocobo GP; 2022
    • Excuse me, but what the hell is this? It’s actually a sh*tty copy and paste of Mario Kart into a worse engine. It’s blatant plagiarism. They couldn’t even spruce up the maps enough to make it feel more like Final Fantasy. It looks like Final Fantasy characters fed through a Mii generator and tossed into Mario Kart, I don’t even know where to start with this,
  • Kirby and the Forgotten Land; Spring 2022
    • Congratulations to all of you diehard Kirby fans out there. Your time has come. Kirby has received a 3D game. It looks a littttttle vanilla but hey, you got it either way. I pray that this game is as good as you all want it to be.
Kirby and the Forgotten Land - Announcement Trailer - Nintendo Switch:  NintendoSwitch
  • Triangle Strategy; March 4th, 2022
    • I could have SWORN that they said this was a temporary title. It literally sounds like a test demo for a shape-based RPG, but whatever. I will pat Nintendo on the back for this game though, they really listened to feedback for once. In addition to being antiquated, Nintendo is also notorious for being unyielding and unchanging even in the face of criticism. That isn’t true this time around. They added difficulty adjustments, improvement to on-screen visuals, camera angle controls, the ability to look at previous dialogue, and smoother gameplay/load times. I’m impressed.
  • Metroid Dread; October 8th, 2021
    • This game looks pretty damn sweet. Another congratulations is in order for all the Metroid diehards out there, albeit late. This has been a long time coming. In addition to the amazing looking gameplay, it teases the return of Kraid which I’m sure is exciting to some of you. Metroid Dread - Nintendo Switch : Nintendo of America:  Electronics
  • Hot Wheels Unleashed; September 30th, 2021
    • Not much to say here, it’s just a Hot Wheels racing game. Creating tracks to race on looks cool though, I will admit.
  • Splatoon 3; 2022
    • Splatoon 3 takes place in Splatsville, known as the city of chaos. In this game, there seems to be a lot of upgraded weaponry and tech to fight with, so definitely look forward to that. And if you’re a fan of the story mode, this game is absolutely for you. The Return of the Mammalians is introduced with a sick-a** anime cinematic that garnered even my interest. And I don’t really enjoy Splatoon all that much. The Squid leg with the hair really grosses me out, but I’m pretty enticed to get this game either way.
  • Bayonetta 3; 2022
    • WHY DO THEY MAKE VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS SO HOT? Bayonetta is hotter than ever in the trailer for Bayo 3. The gameplay looks intense, the summons look ferocious, and she looks…amazing. I promise to remain respectful. While this game has been highly anticipated for quite some time, I’d like to perfectly honest. This game also looks like sh*t. The Nintendo Switch just sucks as a console. 30 frames is not enough to do most of their games justice. They are powerful games that run on a super weak console, and it shows. Ergo, antiquated.

Ports, Updates, and Blah Releases:

  • Disco Elysium: The Final Cut; October 12th
  • Animal Crossing: New Horizons
    • Direct in October: teases The Roost and other new content available in November
  • Mario Golf; New Content Available Now
    • New characters and maps
  • Disney Magical World 2: Enchanted Edition (port) ; Holiday 2021
    • Cringe and nothing else. Made for kids, but looks cringe even for them. I cannot name a single child I know who would relish this game and I’m happy that about that.
  • Star Wars: KOTOR (port) ; November 11th
    • Why? The remake just got announced, why even bother with this?
  • Dying Light 2: Stay Human (port); Febuary 4th, 2022
  • Dying Light: Platinum Edition (port); October 19th
  • Shadowrun Trilogy; 2022
  • Castlevania Advanced Collection; Available Now
  • Actraiser Renaissance; Available Now
  • DeltaRune Chapter 2; Available Now
  • Surviving the Aftermath; Holiday 2021
  • Shin Megami Tensei V; Preorders Available Now
  • Wreckfest; Fall 2021
  • Arcade Archives PAC-MAN/Arcade Archives XEVIOUS; Available Now
  • Rune Factory 5, March 22, 2022

Other News:

So gaming aside, Nintendo had two other pieces of news to drop on us. I’ll start with the lesser one.

We’ve heard recently that Nintendo was going to introduce a new tier to their subscription service, but now we have a little more information. With this new tier, members will have access to a selection of N64 games as well as a selection of Sega Genesis games. Think of it as the Ambassador program on the 3DS. Pricing and release date are TBD, but unless we get a larger pool of games, you can count me out for now. Especially if the new tier is up-charged by a substantial amount.

The other news is more…comical.

We are truly living in the 21st Century

The live action Mario movie that is being animated by Illumination has just had its cast revealed. And…it’s interesting to say the least. Chris Pratt as Mario, Charlie Day as Luigi, Jack Black as Bowser, and Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong have to be the most meme-worthy casting choices I’ve seen in years. This cast looks like a joke cast that someone put together on Twitter as a sh*tpost. I’m in utter disbelief that this movie is real to be honest, but I’m also so excited to watch it now.

And that’s that! Like I said, this Nintendo Direct was far more entertaining than the last handful have been, especially with that last bit. I hope you all enjoyed it as well.


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