Streamer’s Declassified Internet Survival Guide


*warning* Contents of this article may be offensive to readers. Proceed at your own discretion.

So you want to be a streamer, huh? Good for you!

You want to be famous too? Well would ya look at this dreamer over here. Okay, so how do you become famous? It’s simple! Here’s what you need to do in order to become a star!

Your skills in whatever game you play must be exceptional, so why are you not already famous? That’s because you need personality! Part of being famous in anything is the ability to show your audience what makes you special. In fact, it can actually overshadow talent to begin with! Even if you have no talent at all!

Such quirk.

So tell me, what makes you unique? Are you funny? Do you make insightful observations? Do you beat your spouse? Do you have any other abilities or talents aside from gaming? You need to look deep into yourself and explore. And hey if you can’t find anything, make something up! Online personas are common especially in the celebrity column. Hell, you don’t even have to show your real face, gender, species, whatever!

Bonus points if you resemble an already famous person or a real life cartoon character.

Just look at Carrot Top & Scott Tenorman. Nice.

You got the personality down, good. The next thing to keep in mind are your words. Words can be powerful, inspirational, and most of all impactful. What better way to connect with your audience than with words? Don’t believe me?

Here are the most common words used by famous streamers. If they use it then something must be working and it can for you!

  1. [REDACTED] Racial slur
  2. [REDACTED] Homophobic
  3. [REDACTED] Sexual violence
  4. [REDACTED] Transphobic
  5. [REDACTED] Misogynistic
  6. [REDACTED] Ableist
  7. [REDACTED] Combination of any of the words above
  8. [REDACTED] Just being disgusting
  9. [REDACTED] Seriously?
  10. [REDACTED] The use of simp, incel, and virgin

That list is actually just scratching the surface. If you can get creative and personal with your words, you’re bound to attract attention.

History in the making when it comes to famous statements.

PSST. If you really want to get ahead and make money, try being sponsored! Sponsorships can really help. I mean, just look at the Verizon guy. Even when he left Verizon, everyone still knew him as the Verizon guy. Plus, sponsorships can come from already well known companies. The bigger the better. That’s just my two cents or Ten (if you catch my drift).

(Knowing these flags may lead to complications with certain sponsorships but can also make you famous!)

At this point you’re probably famous and, if so, CONGRATULATIONS! You made it to the top. Ain’t the view worth it? Now this final piece of advice is for those who made it.

Here, it’s time to think outside the box.

If you think people are getting tired of you doing the same thing over and over, then it’s time to spice things up. (Only do this if your relevance is fleeting. If not, daring today, aren’t we?). So why not start a trend?

From the Harlem Shake, Ice Bucket Challenge, Bowsette, etc., boy can trends spread like wildfire. Ask yourself this, “what can I do to make people see me?” People love to talk, and sometimes a good story can get them going. It can even involve the entire community!

Eat your heart out

Well there you have it. I wish you the best of luck, and maybe one day we’ll get to talk about you!*

*Results may vary


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